This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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