allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we made out on top of his cat.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
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At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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