Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
