Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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