CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
