i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
