i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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