You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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