Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
