By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
