i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
