You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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