it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
