I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
