I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
