She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
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After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have post one night stand depression
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