You're completely useless in the revolution.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
