I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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