some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
