I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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