Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
