It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
