Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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