He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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