I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
