Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
