Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
