He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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