please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize