so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
