fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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