Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
