Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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