I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
