girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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