i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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