But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
