YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
