nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
