shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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