They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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