No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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