Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
