My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
