How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
