There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
