We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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