It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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