just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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