im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
