i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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