I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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