sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
