it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
