i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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