chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
