she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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