i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
not ubering you a puppy
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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