I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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