If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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