Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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