There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
